Survival Instinct: Brian Book One (Van Zant Siblings 1) Read online

  It was a long moment later when Brian realized Hawk’s weight was heavily draped across his chest. Both men were breathing hard. “Too heavy. Can’t breathe.”

  Hawk rolled off of him. “Sorry.”

  “No, no. Don’t be sorry.” Brian laughed. “That was amazing.”

  The shadows in the room were lengthening; morning had turned into midday. Hawk’s face was in shadow, but Brian could tell he was smiling, possibly even laughing at him. Brian begged, “Don’t say it.”

  “What?”

  “I pretty sure that I screamed like a girl, but we don’t have to talk about it.”

  “I didn’t say anything.” Hawk grinned wider and warned, “Now, don’t be a smart-ass, if I decide we talk about something, we will.”

  ♥

  Brian was snoring softly, but Hawk couldn’t sleep. It bothered him that a storm and a man had completely made him forget about the lights on the mountain and his grandfather’s concerns. The old man had rarely ever asked anything of him, and here he was failing him. Quietly, he left the bed and crossed the room to watch the mountain. He stared at the mountain through frosted windowpanes, watching and waiting. Two a.m. Three a.m. Nothing. He assumed the weather was keeping whatever had been going on up there from happening tonight. It didn’t make him feel any better.

  At his feet, Shadow whined.

  “I haven’t forgotten. Something weird is going on, and we’re going to figure out what.” Blizzard or not.

  Hawk opened the door to let his wolf out of the bedroom. He closed his eyes when Brian’s hand rubbed his shoulder. “Can’t sleep?”

  “No.”

  “Anything wrong?”

  Hawk heard nervousness in Brian’s voice. He turned and took his hand to reassure him. “Something’s wrong, but not with your being here. Don’t think that.”

  Brian sat down beside him. “Anything I can do?”

  Hawk shook his head. Shadow came loping into the room, her fur cold and snow covered. Hurrying to grab a towel to dry her, he explained, “Doggie door, downstairs. Sarah had it installed two decades ago for her own dog. She never boarded it up after Bear died.”

  “Bear?”

  “Tibetan mastiff. Huge animal. He once took down a doe by himself and carried it home.” Hawk chuckled at the memory as he finished cleaning up the snowy mess.

  He returned to the chair and sat, the tight square of his shoulders making it obvious he was still tense.

  Brian kneaded both shoulders, his hands a warming comfort in the cool room. “So what’s wrong?”

  “I wish I knew.” He pointed through the window. “See that highest peak out there, between the pines?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “There’s been reports of weird lights. The night of the blizzard I was supposed to be heading up there to check it out. Instead, I rescued you.”

  “I appreciate that. So, you’re thinking UFO?” Brian teased.

  When Hawk looked back at Brian, he wasn’t looking at the mountain. He was looking at him. Seeing lust in Brian’s gaze, Hawk’s heart tripped over itself. “I don’t believe in UFOs.”

  “No?” Brian leaned nearer.

  Mesmerized, Hawk shook his head.

  Brian whispered, “Kiss me.”

  Hawk licked his lips, thinking he shouldn’t, but Brian’s mouth was so damn tempting. He kissed him gently, testing the attraction, and discovered Brian’s mouth fit his perfectly.

  Brian wrapped his hand into Hawk’s hair, pulling, hurting a little, trying to take control of the kiss. Hawk fought him for it, wrapping his fingers into Brian’s hair. They fell against a wall. Brian pushed Hawk’s shoulders back against the floral wallpaper and dropped to his knees so fast Hawk wasn’t expecting it.

  As Brian’s lips closed around his dick, Hawk realized he still had his fingers wrapped in the man’s ginger mane. He used it to his advantage, pulling Brian’s head forward and back, not letting Brian control his pleasure, but taking what he wanted. He heard the man gag around his cock as he bumped into the back of his throat again and again. He liked the sound. He commanded, “Swallow me,” and gave Brian enough slack to angle his penis and do as he was told.

  Brian swallowed, taking his length, gagging, and then doing it again. And again.

  “Holy fuck, Just Brian. What. You. Do. To. Me,” he said between gritted teeth as he shot his load.

  Chapter Five

  ♥

  Hawk left man and dog sleeping in the bed and found himself standing outside in the snow a second time. It was going to be a long, long night. What had he just done? Hadn’t he spent an hour in the cold berating himself for getting involved with a tourist? Couldn’t he have learned his lesson?

  Damn it. “I did not love Erik.”

  So, why does it still hurt so bad to think about him?

  “Rejection. Obviously. He’s the one who crept off in the middle of the night,” he muttered to himself under his breath. “I cannot do this again.”

  Too late. Idiot.

  “Fuck.” Hawk scrubbed his face with his hands, his exhaustion catching up with him. He thought backward and realized he was going on forty-eight hours without sleep. He needed to crash, he didn’t know if he could crawl into bed beside Just Brian. He already cared for the man more than he should. Shaking his head, he dropped his head back and stared at the night sky. Unexpected movement flying over his head made him duck. He felt ridiculous when he blinked, seeing nothing. “I need sleep.”

  The night sky shifted in front of him.

  He scowled, looking hard at the sky. There weren’t any lights, but there was definitely something skimming along the treetops, flying low. Something big and silent.

  Crossing the yard, he kept his eyes on the sky until he reached his truck. Hurrying, he rummaged through his equipment in the back and grabbed his night-vision binoculars. Taking a look, he had his answer: a helicopter. A stealth helicopter. As he watched, the helicopter dipped behind a granite crag.

  “Damn, Grandfather. You have the entire town worked up over a military op?”

  Suddenly, lights went up, backlighting the mountain. The lights almost immediately went back out. Anyone watching, without realizing there was a helicopter on the other side of the mountain, might have grasped for explanations. Lightning. Or a UFO.

  “That’s not official business.”

  Keeping his eyes on the sky, he dug out his cell phone and called his grandfather. He would have gone to bed at dusk as he had his entire life, so he’d been asleep for hours. Knowing he would be waking him, didn’t stop his call. “I’ve discovered the mystery on the mountain and I’m afraid you aren’t going to like it. Looks like some kind of military op, but feels more like trouble has come to town.”

  His grandfather’s heavy sigh made him feel like he’d have been happier if it had been a spacecraft. “I’m calling the sheriff now. As soon as this snow lets up, I’ll go up the mountain and find out exactly what’s going on.”

  So far his grandfather hadn’t said a word and that worried him more than anything happening on the mountain. “Great-father Gray Owl, tell me your thoughts.”

  There was a long silence before the old man answered. “I’ve seen two paths. You will be asked to make a choice. One path leads to life, the other death.”

  Hawk shook his head, needing to wrap his head around what his grandfather was trying to explain, but arguing, “There is only one path for me, grandfather. Protecting the mountain. You walked away from the reservation when I was born because our people were turning from the true path and raised me, according to the old ways, in these mountains. I will protect this mountain, this town, and the lives of our people, who chose to swear allegiance to our family and live here amongst the spirits of our ancestors.”

  His grandfather’s silence cut him deeply. He didn’t know what the old man was holding back, but knew instinctively he was somehow disappointing him. Hawk closed his eyes. “How will I know, which path leads to life and which leads to death? How do
I choose?”

  “You’ve already chosen, grandson.” The line went dead. He knew better than to call back—he’d gotten all he was going to get—and now, it was time to walk the path he’d chosen with bravery. It might help if he knew the signposts or at least a direction, but all he had was the trust he had in his own spirit to know what to do next.

  Hawk called the sheriff next. “Remember the lights Grandfather told you about?”

  “Sure, the UFOs.”

  “Not unidentified at any rate. Stealth helicopter, if I had to bet money.” Hawk headed back to the diner, shaking off snow and kicking his boots on each step as he climbed to break off the packed snow.

  “Military? No way, too much risk for the military to be running a nighttime training ops.”

  “It’s quiet, but still, I don’t think the government has anything to do with what’s going on, but whatever is, I plan to figure it out unless you have an official explanation why the military would be up there.”

  “Nope.”

  “Then I think someone’s up to no good, and I intend to find out what.” He opened the door, and the heat from inside slapped him in the face. Hurriedly he shrugged out of his jacket.

  “Now, Toby. Don’t go rushing into anything. I’ll make some inquiries. Not much can be done until the weather clears anyway. News update just reported another wave of heavy snowfall and high winds will be passing through in a couple hours. They’re calling it a supercell. We’ve only seen the front end so far and they’re predicting it’s more dangerous than the Blizzard of 1955.”

  “Well whoever’s in the helicopter isn’t waiting on the weather to clear and whatever they’re doing up there isn’t above board, so that means we need to discover what.”

  “Now, hold on there, Hawk. I know your grandfather has always been the protector of these mountains and as his health fails you’re feeling more and more responsibility, but you have a patient to care for and I’m not authorizing any team to head up that mountain until this storm system clears out.”

  “I’m not asking you for a team.”

  “Hawk, you will not take off into this storm.”

  He hung up on the sheriff and finished the business of getting out of his snow-covered clothing. He’d already decided he was going up the mountain at first light, blizzard or no.

  Mounting the stairs that would lead him back to Brian and the mistake he had made with the man seemed harder than facing the elements. He almost wished he could leave without explanation. But that’s what Erik had done to him, and he wouldn’t leave anyone else with such miserable self-doubt.

  Luckily, both man and dog were still snoring. He climbed into bed as gently as he could to not wake them. Shadow opened one eye and yawned. Hawk forced himself to relax against the pillow.

  “Everything okay?”

  In the dark Hawk turned toward Brian’s voice. “Nothing to worry about. Work.”

  He tried to ignore his tightening groin. He wanted the man. Again. Maybe he could just look at whatever was happening between him and Brian as a fling, because he couldn’t ignore his body’s reaction to this man. He wanted to enjoy every inch of his body while he could. He definitely wasn’t getting emotionally involved with another man who was merely passing through town and would leave without a note or even a good-bye. Reaching out, Hawk stroked Brian’s face.

  “The UFO?”

  “I guess we did get sidetracked before. I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re a civilian, and whatever the lights my grandfather saw turns out to be, it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

  “When you left the room, I was afraid you were regretting —”

  No. The denial caught in his throat. He couldn’t give Brian assurances he wasn’t ready for. Pulling away, he climbed out of bed and walked to the window. “Come here.”

  Brian climbed out from under the blankets and joined him. Hawk pointed at the mountain. “While I was outside a stealth helicopter flew over and hovered just on the other side of that ridge.”

  “And that isn’t supposed to happen?”

  “If it was the middle of the day, I might say it was a sightseeing tour, but at three a.m.? No, definitely odd. And definitely rules out a UFO.”

  “That rock face is granite, right?”

  Hawk nodded. “Yes, fairly inaccessible without climbing gear. There are a few category-four trails, but still a tough climb.”

  “You’re thinking someone wanted to get to the top faster than climbing, but it’s not flat enough to land on.”

  “Right, but someone could rappel down from the helicopter to the peak.”

  “Why would someone do that in the middle of the night? Seems fairly dangerous. Unless they didn’t want anyone to know they were. But why? What could be up there?”

  “That’s what I intend to find out. Now that the winds have stopped, I was thinking I might head out before dawn and get to the top before the next wave. If they come back, I plan to be there when they do.”

  “Before the next wave? You’re talking about the storm?”

  “Yes, right now, we’re safe beneath the eye.”

  Brian arched a brow. “The eye? Like a hurricane or cyclone?”

  Hawk nodded, “I guess so. Yeah.”

  “So more snow and more high winds are barreling down on us and you plan to ascend and make camp before a second blizzard hits? That sounds crazy.”

  Hawk froze, hearing concern he hadn’t expected. “I’ll be fine.”

  “You won’t go alone, right?”

  “I’ll be faster if I’m not worried about the safety of a team. Besides, this is my burden, no one else’s.”

  “Protecting the mountain? Because your grandfather is the chief and he gave you this responsibility?”

  “I don’t expect you to understand.”

  “I understand just fine, thank you. MacKenna blood runs through my veins and I hate that it does. I don’t place my trust in any of them and they’ll learn they can’t count on me.”

  Hawk frowned and shook his head, unable to believe what he’d just heard. This man could never understand who he was. Hearing what he was, he couldn’t be sure he’d even like the man he’d fucked only hours before. “You’ve turned your back on your family? You left them?”

  “Yes.”

  “Like I said, you cannot understand.”

  A hundred emotions crossed Brian’s face and if one of them hadn’t been deep regret, Hawk would have left the room and not looked back; but he did see it. Brian was still suffering the deep pain of betrayal by his own brother, his twin.

  “Fine, I don’t understand why you would risk your life for something that can wait another twenty-four hours.”

  Hawk shook his head. “Looking at the radar and speed of the storm, more like seventy-two hours and I dare not wait that long.”

  “I could go with you. Winter camping isn’t unfamiliar, and I can climb. Granted, my climbing experience is limited to a gym, but I can handle it.”

  Hawk turned around to look at him, all lean lines and sex appeal. Desire made him hard. He wrapped his hand around the back of Brian’s neck to pull his face nearer. Hawk hovered, nearly kissing him, but not. “Why can I not get enough of you, Just Brian?”

  “You’ll take me with you?”

  “No. It’s too dangerous.” In the moonlight streaming through the window, Brian looked crestfallen, and Hawk knew he was done for. His voice cracked as he admitted, “I spent days saving your life. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  Brian smiled. “I’m not some wussy boy who can’t take care of himself.”

  Hawk laughed. “I’m the one who cut off the thong with the pink bow.”

  Brian batted his eyes. “No one ever said tough and pretty couldn’t come in the same package.”

  “Mmm-hmm-hmm,” Hawk chuckled. “You are something else, Just Brian.”

  “I’m going to shower, want to join me?”

  Hawk shook his head. “That would be a very b
ad idea. I need to start getting my gear together so I can get on that mountain as soon as possible and not even that very sweet ass of yours is going to dissuade me.”

  ♥

  When Brian left the shower, wearing nothing but a towel it was to try to seduce Hawk one more time, but he opened the bathroom door to a blaring alarm. He covered his ears and saw Hawk fumbling with a small electronic bow. The shrill sound stopped. “Jesus, what was that?”

  “Weather warning, the blizzard is here.” Hawk hit the wall. “Damn it!”

  Brian felt Hawk’s rage, but he didn’t fear it. He closed the distance between them before he could change his mind, made sure he had Hawk’s attention, and dropped his towel. He really hoped Hawk couldn’t tell he was trembling hard on the inside. He hadn’t submitted for years, not since Jameson Wells. But from what he remembered, the trust he’d felt submitting was a high like no other and he really needed to feel good again, feel whole again. He needed to feel like a man again. That wouldn’t happened until he let go of his past and found a new reason to live in the future. He wasn’t delusional enough to believe Tobias Red Hawk was his prince charming, but he had been his rescuer. There was no doubt he would have been dead without Hawk’s intervention and now his life was being given a second chance.

  Hawk pushed his boot between Brian’s shoulder blades and pressed down. “If you’re going to kneel before me, boy, get lower.”

  Brian grunted but didn’t resist.

  “Are you ready to be topped by me, boy?”

  “Yes, Sir; please, Sir.” His cheek was pressed against the hardwood floor.

  “Do you like pain?” Hawk asked.

  “I don’t like it. I need it. Please Hawk, top me.”

  Haw closed his eyes, reining in his anger over the weather. “I can be a harsh dominant. I don’t know your experience level—”

  “Sir! I can take it. Let me serve your needs.”

  Hawk knelt and wrapped his fingers into Brian’s hair. He jerked his head up and claimed his mouth with a ferocious intensity. He could tell by the man’s soft grunts he was already feeling the demanding sting of his dark needs lighting up his scalp.

  “I’ll want to hear you scream, Brian. Can you allow me to give you the kind of pleasure and pain?” When Hawk pushed of the floor to stand, he dragged Brian up with him. He was wincing, but silent. “What’s your safeword?”